Understanding Autism: A Parent's guide

Parenting can be tough — after all, you’re responsible for taking care of this tiny human, teaching them how to navigate the world and helping them grow into healthy, happy adults. But if you’re the parent of a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) , you’re trying to help your child navigate a world you both understand in dramatically different ways. But while parenting a child with ASD can be difficult, it is the keystone in treatment of autism — which can vary greatly from child to child.

What is ASD?

ASD is a broad term used to describe a group of neurodevelopmental disorders that affect communication and social interaction. It usually emerges in infancy, but can be hard to spot, as it is characterized by the absence of normal behaviours rather than the presence of abnormal ones. In fact, many of the signs of autism can be mistaken for the child being a ‘good baby’ — quiet, independent anti and undemanding. But if you know what to look for, you may be able to spot certain developmental red flags.

 

• By 6 months: No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions 
• By 9 months: No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions
• By 12 months: Lack of response to name, no babbling or “baby talk”, no back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving
• By 16 months: No spoken words
• By 24 months: No meaningful two-word phrases that don’t involve imitating or echoing the person speaking to them

The signs may be a little more obvious in older children, particularly when they start socializing. A child with autism might:

 

• Not know how to play with others or make friends
• Prefer not to be touched or held
• Speak in an abnormal tone of voice
• Repeat words or phrases with no communicative intent
• Avoid eye contact and do not pick up on others’ nonverbal cues
• React unusually and be sensitive to sights, smells, textures, and sounds
• Follow a rigid routine and be unable to cope with change
• Have an unusual attachment to certain toys or objects
• Express strong emotions through unusual and repeated physical movements (rocking, flapping, etc.)

How to parent a child with ASD

Because of the unique way autistic children perceive the world parents need to adapt their parenting styles to give them the support that they need. The sooner you notice that your child has ASD, the sooner you can work towards creating a safe and supportive environment for them. 

Tip 1: Understand

Take the time to learn about autism, what it means in general, and what it means for your child. There are myriad resources that can help you learn about the disorder and how other parents are coping. Take time to educate your family about the disorder and what that means for your child. But remember that every child experiences ASD differently. Your child is unique — learn their likes and dislikes, what triggers them, what makes them feel safe. Help them find ways to stay grounded when things get overwhelming, find ways for them to explore the things they’re passionate about, and let them be kids! It’s also important to understand that parenting an autistic child can be overwhelming for you as well — look up support groups and forums for parents with autistic children and don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Tip 2: Be consistent

Most autistic children thrive when they have a routine. For some this may mean a schedule to follow each day, for others this may mean listening to a particular song when doing a particular activity, or wearing a certain outfit when going to a certain place. Creating a consistent environment will help your child feel safe — but there. Is a flip side. Any change can be deeply upsetting. Learning how to soothe your child when this happens comes from experience.

Tip 3: Make them feel safe

Create a private ‘safe space’ or soothing corner in your home where your child can go if things get too overwhelming. Fill it with soothing textures and colors, toys, and tools to help them communicate. It’s also important to make your home ‘sensory-safe’ to mitigate sounds, sights, or textures. And if your child is particularly prone to tantrums or self-injurious behavior, you may need to baby-proof the house as well.

Tip 4: Listen

Even if some austistic children  are nonverbal, or don't communicate conventionally, they’re still speaking to you in the best way they know how. Try to understand the motivations behind their actions. Are they having a meltdown in the market because the environment is overwhelming? Have they not completed a task because the instructions were too vague? Are they repeating a question or statement because they don’t feel you’ve given an appropriate response? Learning how to communicate with your child will require a lot of patience and understanding, but will make both of you much less frustrated.

Tip 5: Create a personalized treatment plan

Treatment of autism is varied, and often includes speech, occupational, behavioral, and social therapy. Some cases may require medication as well. But when it comes to your child, create a treatment plan that is customized to their needs. A good treatment plan builds on your child’s interests, offers a predictable schedule, regularly reinforces behavior, actively engages your child's interest, and most importantly, involves you in the process. Ask yourself:

• What are my child’s strengths and weaknesses?
• What behaviors are causing the most problems?
• How does my child learn best?
• What does my child enjoy the most?

With these questions to guide you, you can find the right professionals, techniques, and exercises to make your child’s day-to-day life so much easier. 

Having an autistic child is not a tragedy. Treatment of autism goes hand in hand with how well you understand and work with your child. With the right environment, support, a little patience, and a lot of love, you can give them the tools they need to not just survive, but thrive in this strange and overwhelming world.

Parenting can be tough — after all, you’re responsible for taking care of this tiny human, teaching them how to navigate the world and helping them grow into healthy, happy adults. But if you’re the parent of a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) , you’re trying to help your child navigate a world you both understand in dramatically different ways. But while parenting a child with ASD can be difficult, it is the keystone in treatment of autism — which can vary greatly from child to child.